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Oh, and here’s where I get tickled pink—“whore” ain’t just for the ladies, nope! Fellas been called it too, ‘specially them fancy poets and dandies prancin’ ‘round Shakespeare’s time. Ain’t that a hoot? Equal opportunity slander, I reckon. Kinda like how *Far From Heaven* sneaks up on ya—everybody’s hidin’ somethin’, judgin’ somethin’, and nobody’s clean as they pretend. “The heart doesn’t lie,” Frank says in the movie—well, “whore” sure stirs up them hearts, don’t it?

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Finally, I finish the table. It’s not perfect, but it’s got character. Just like me, right? I clean up, and as I’m leavin’, I bump into this old lady on Via Manzoni. She’s like, “Young man, you’ve got a good heart.” And I’m like, “Thanks, but I just smashed my thumb!”

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