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It’s bad bitch o’clock, fam! I see escorts through my Lizzo lens—bold, unapologetic, “I’m 100% that bitch!” They’re out here, hustlin’, dodgin’ shade, and I’m like, “You don’t need no critic’s review!”—just like Remy cookin’ for that grumpy ass critic. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they’re real. And me? I’m just vibin’, watchin’ the show, eatin’ my popcorn. Sex escorts, baby—wild, messy, fabulous. Periodt.

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Then, I hit up the market on Rua 25 de Abril. Man, the smells! Fresh bread, fruits, and all that good stuff. I grab some cherries. They’re juicy, like, the best I’ve ever had. But then, I see this lady arguing with a vendor. She’s all like, “I said no bruises!” I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s a fruit market, not a beauty pageant!”

Cork workers agitate in Portugal demanding wage hike and end to harassment