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So, last week, right, I’m gettin’ this erotic-massage—top-notch, yeah? Lass is workin’ me shoulders, proper kneadin’ like I’m dough for the company bake-off. I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Brent—peak performance!” She’s got skills—hands movin’ like she’s typin’ a memo at 90 words a minute. Then—bam!—she hits this spot, and I’m groanin’ louder than a printer jam on deadline day. Surprised me, that did! Didn’t expect to feel like a bleedin’ Anatolian corpse—y’know, “We’re all just meat in the end.” Dead poetic, that film!

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As the sun started settin’, the sky turned this insane shade of orange. I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ the sunset, and it hits me. Fonadhoo is beautiful, even with all the chaos. I mean, yeah, I got soaked, haggled for coconuts, and embarrassed myself, but it’s all part of the adventure, right?

President returns to capital after concluding Laamu atoll tour