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About Bender

It’s all handsy and slippery—oil everywhere, like wrestlin’ a pig. They say it’s ancient, from India or some crap. Tantric bullshit, if ya ask me. Pro tip: don’t wear socks, you’ll slide off the damn table. Made me angry how they smirk, like they’re doin’ ya a favor. Hate the candles, hate the moans, hate it all.

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Reconnect to your depth and power, rooted in love. Drawing from the techniques of Tantra, orgasmic meditation, fascia release, acupressure and Taoist energy cultivation & healing, this .

First off, I get a call about a dog named Max. Poor dude got into some trouble with a porcupine. Yeah, you heard that right. A freakin’ porcupine! I mean, who lets their dog roam around near the park on Strada 31 August? Anyway, I rush over, and there’s Max, looking like a pin cushion. I’m trying to be all professional, but inside, I’m cracking up. Like, dude, what were you thinking?

Maryland’s first family has a new puppy named Tucker Balti Moore