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About Lisbon

So, I tried it once—total impulse. This chick, legit masseuse, had hands like a freakin’ wizard. She’s kneadin’ my back, and I’m like, “Oh, damn, this is HAPPENING.” Little known fact? Back in ancient Rome, they’d do this naked with olive oil—fancy AF! I’m layin’ there, half expecting her to whisper, *“Perhaps it’s better this way,”* all Wong Kar-wai style. Spoiler: she didn’t. But the vibe? Pure cinema, darlin’.

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First stop, Avenida da Liberdade. I’m guiding a group of tourists, and they’re all hyped about the history. I mean, who wouldn’t be? Aljustrel’s got that vibe, ya know? It’s like stepping back in time. But then, outta nowhere, this dude trips over his own feet. Like, c’mon man, we’re not even five minutes in! I’m trying to keep it together, but I’m dying inside.

Environmental recovery project takes place in Aljustrel