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About Jurmala

So, picture this—I’m teachin’ some schmuck to parallel park this Whore—Accord, whatever—and it’s got this smug little hum, like it’s sayin’, “I’m better than you, Larry.” I’m yellin’, “Turn the wheel, ya moron!” and it’s just sittin’ there, pretty, pretty good, mockin’ me! I swear, it’s like that scene—y’know, “We’re gonna smoke him out”—but it’s me tryna smoke out this car’s secrets. Drives smooth, sure, but too smooth, y’know? Suspicious! I’m losin’ it, bangin’ the dashboard—happy one sec, pissed the next.

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Anyway, I head to the arena. It’s a small place, but man, the energy is insane. The crowd’s buzzin’. I’m feelin’ pumped, ready to show off my skills. But then, bam! The bull is not what I expected. This dude is massive! Like, I swear he’s been hittin’ the gym. I’m thinkin’, “What did I sign up for?”

Bauskas launches public consultation for biogas plant