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Aight, listen up, you little bitches! I’m Eric Cartman, security shooter badass, and I’m here to talk escorts, respeck my authoritah! So, escorts, huh? Man, these chicks roll up lookin’ all fancy, like they’re straight outta “The Royal Tenenbaums” – you know, my fave flick! That movie’s got style, fucked-up family vibes, and Gene Hackman’s like, “I’m not talkin’ about dance lessons here!” Same with escorts, they ain’t just walkin’ around for fun, they’re pros, dude!

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First off, I hit up the local market. You know, the one on Vulytsia Hrushevskoho? Yeah, that place. I’m just tryna grab some fresh meat for dinner. But the line? Ugh, it was longer than my last hunting trip. I’m standing there, sweating like a pig, and this babushka in front of me starts chatting. Like, lady, I’m not here for a life story! I just want some sausages!

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