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Erotic massage, tho, it’s, like, touch as power, touch as escape. The stats say 62% of men and, like, 58% of women globally do it for sex stuff. Crazy numbers! And those Japanese Nuru massages? Slippery, sensual, so extra. I’m giggling but also, like, impressed. The innovation! But, ugh, some laws treat it like crime, not care. Makes me wanna throw my phone.

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down to the beach. The waves were crashin’, and the vibe was lit. I’m walkin’ along the shore, feelin’ the sand between my toes, and then I spot this massive sea turtle chillin’ by the rocks. I’m like, “Whoa, dude, you’re living the life!” I whip out my phone to snap a pic, but it just swims away. Typical, right?

Fonadhoo electoral result unchanged by recount