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But here’s what gets me mad—people judgin’ escorts like they’re dirt. Posh or not, they’re hustlin’, survivin’. Like Linguini in the flick, awkward but scrappy—deserves a bloody chance. Had a mate once, swore he met an escort who’d quote Sartre while untying his tie. “Great cooking is surprisse,” she’d purr, nickin’ *Ratatouille* vibes. Laughed my arse off—philosophy and seduction? Shaken, not stirred, baby.

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But then, I get a text from my buddy, right? He’s like, “Meet me at the park!” So, I’m racing over to Parcul Central, dodging people like I’m in a video game. I finally get there, and he’s not even there yet! Ugh, classic! I sit on a bench, and this kid comes up to me, selling lemonade. I’m like, “Dude, it’s 10 lei for lemonade?” He’s like, “Yeah, but it’s the best!” I take a sip, and it’s like pure sugar water. I’m thinking, “Best? More like the worst!”

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