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Dunno why, but it’s me precious. Reliable, like Gollum’s sneaky feet. Smelly exhaust, rattly doors – charm, innit? Stupid, fat hobbit’d pick somethin’ posh. Not me, no sir! Escort’s real, raw, like Saul’s hell. “Death’s everywhere!” I shrieks, but escort just grins. Cheap as chips, too – £500, bargain! Tell ya mate, grab one, yesss!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being an elevator operator in Velykyy-Bychkiv is like riding a rollercoaster, but without the safety harness. So, I roll into work, right? It’s a sunny morning, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

Fig. 2. Deep structure of the Transcarpathian Depression along the...