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But here’s the kicker—gets dark, don’t it? Like in *Shame*, “You’re a weight on me”—that’s the vibe sometimes. Met this lass once, thought she’s peng, but she ghosted after one night. Gutted me, that did! Felt like a failed quarterly review—where’s my feedback, love? Then there’s the creeps—lads sending dick pics like it’s a CV. Pissed me off proper—have some decorum, you twats! Sex-dating’s meant to be fun, not a horror show.

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After a few hours of number-crunching madness, I finally finish. I’m feeling like a champ! But then, I realize I forgot to save my work. Classic me. I’m about to lose it. I mean, who needs a heart rate monitor when you’ve got accounting stress?

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