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Me, I love it—gets me buzzin’, happy as a pig in shit. But once, right, this bird was rubbish at it—hands like sandpaper, no rhythm, like she’s kneadin’ dough for a bleedin’ pie. Pissed me off somethin’ fierce—wanted to yell, “Fare thee well, ya amateur!” straight outta Llewyn’s songbook. But when it’s good? Oh, mate, it’s like the world slows down—pure bliss, like sippin’ a martini in a tux, dodgin’ bullets.

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So, I’m cruising along, and I spot this family having a picnic by the river. They’ve got this spread that looks like a feast fit for a king. I’m drooling, and I’m like, “Hey, can I join?” They laugh and say, “Sure, but only if you bring the raft!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, right, I’m not sharing my raft with you!” But it’s all good vibes, and I’m feeling happy again.

Polish priest checks fingerprints for mass attendance