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Growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” Me? I *lived* it—drove one in ’99. Smelled like oil and regret, but damn, it hauled! Little-known fact: Escort MK1 won rally champs in ‘70s—beat Porsches, mate! Proper underdog story, gets me pumped. But oh, the rage—parts were a nightmare. Junkyards laughed in my face. “Escort? Good luck, pal.” Nearly punched a wall.

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After that, I head down to the Rhine. The water’s calling my name, ya know? I’m all geared up, ready to dive into the deep blue. But then, bam! I see this group of tourists on the bridge. They’re taking selfies, and one of them drops their phone. It’s like slow-mo, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, that’s gonna hurt.” And it does! The phone goes splat on the rocks. I can’t help but laugh. Like, who needs a phone when you’ve got a view like this?

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