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Best bit? When it clicks—rare as a unicorn’s fart. Met this bird, eyes like stars, we’re vibin’, talkin’ ‘bout Spike Lee flicks. Sex was grand, but the chat? Gold! “You’re my Mo Better,” I tease, quotin’ Monty’s vibe. She giggles—score! Still, most times it’s “wham, bam, thank thee, ma’am”—fun, but hollow.

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I get to him, and he’s all smiles, but I’m not feelin’ it. I’m watchin’ those guys, and they’re eyein’ us like we’re prime rib. I’m thinkin’, “What’s the plan here, man?” But before I can say anything, one of those dudes steps up.

J. Cole's new song ‘Port Antonio’ addresses why he ‘walked away’ from Kendrick Lamar and Drake feud