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About New Plymouth

Alright, mate, listen up! Me, Dr. Evil, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” runnin’ a machine milkin’ gig, yeah? But let’s talk erotic-massage—ooh, baby! It’s like, hands slippin’ everywhere, oil slicker than a shark’s grin. I’m thinkin’ ‘bout *The Master*, ya know? That flick where Freddie’s all lost, kneadin’ his soul into somethin’ wild. Erotic-massage is that vibe—control, release, chaos, all at once!

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So I’m walking, enjoying the fresh air, when I spot this little food truck on the corner of Wairaka St. It’s got the best fish and chips. I mean, I could live off that stuff! I order a massive serving, and while I’m waiting, I see this old lady feeding the ducks. Super cute, right? But then, BAM! A seagull swoops in and snatches her bread! I’m dying laughing. The lady’s like, “Hey! That’s mine!” Classic Owairaka moment.

On the tools in Mt Roskill