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Here’s the kicker—everybody lies, but prostitutes? They’re pros at it. “Oh, baby, you’re the best,” she purrs, while thinking, “This guy’s breath stinks like death.” Reminds me of that "Almost Famous" bit—Lester Bangs ranting, “The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share when you’re uncool.” Candy’s uncool as hell—spills her guts to me sometimes, says she hates the gig but loves the cash. Fair trade, I guess.

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But then, outta nowhere, the sky goes dark. Like, seriously dark. I’m thinking, “No way, not rain!” But it starts pouring. I’m sprinting for cover, dodging puddles like I’m in a video game. I duck into a shop on Commerce St, and it’s packed with people. Everyone’s looking at me like I’m the crazy one. I’m soaked, hair’s a mess, and I’m just laughing.

More than 100 miles of Shropshire roads to be resurfaced in coming months