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So, check dis out, I’m swipin’ on apps, right? All dese profiles—hot babes, horny dudes, all wantin’ action. It’s like choppin’ meat, fast and messy! I’m sittin’ dere, thinkin’, “Hasta la vista, boredom!” Sex-dating’s quick, no bullshit, just bang-bang, ya? But den, some creeps slide in—ugh, dese losers piss me off! Fake pics, ghostin’—makes me wanna flex and yell, “Get to da choppa!”

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Next, I decided to hit up the Katsuura Castle ruins. I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of history? The view from up there was insane. You could see the whole bay. I was standing there, feeling all philosophical, when this group of tourists showed up. They were loud, taking selfies, and I was like, “Guys, chill! This is a moment!” But hey, I guess that’s what you get in a tourist spot.

Record-breaking Huge Tuna Caught in Japan