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But here’s the real tea - erotic-massage got history, fam. Back in ancient China, them Taoists were all bout it, callin’ it “healing touch” or some fancy shit. Little known fact: they’d use scented oils from crushed lotus, swear it’d “balance your chi.” Ain’t that wild? Imagine some monk, robes half off, kneadin’ backs for enlightenment. Shit’s spiritual AND freaky - duality, baby.

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But then, the mood shifts. A group of guys comes in, loud and rowdy. They’re celebrating something, but honestly, it sounds more like a herd of elephants. They start ordering shots, and I’m pouring like a madman. One of ‘em spills a drink all over the bar. I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a slip-n-slide!” But they just laugh it off. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m boiling.

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