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Favorite bit? When they laugh—proper cackle, y’know? Happiest sound in the galaxy. Dunno, man, somethin’ bout prostitutes just—*whoosh*—blows my mind. They’re out there, survivin’, while we’re all judgin’ like pricks. “You’re my only friend,” I’d tell her, like Oskar in the film. Cosmic truth—they’re human, innit? Screw the haters, they deserve a bloody medal. Or at least a lift ride to somewhere safe. *Beep boop*—over and out, mate!

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But then, just as I’m about to take a bite, this kid runs in, all hyper. He knocks over a stack of mugs, and they go crashin’ everywhere! I’m like, “Oh great, just what I needed.” But the café lady just laughs it off. “Don’t worry, love, it’s just mugs!” I can’t help but chuckle.

Serviceman undertakes year-long challenge after battling his own demons