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Where d’ya even start, eh? Web’s crap for this—X posts all “ooh, hot babes near ya!” Lies, lies! Gotta hit the grime, the real spots—truck stops, dive bars, y’know? Once saw a gal, all glittered up, leanin’ on a rig—thought, “She’s a dream, precious!” But nah, real as me sores. Asked her, “How’s biz?” She goes, “Better’n your stink!” Cheeky lass, cracked me up!

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First off, I hit the road on Maironio Street. You know, the one that’s always packed with those tiny cars? Yeah, that one. I’m cruising, feeling good, when BAM! A pothole the size of a small lake. My coffee goes flying. I’m like, “Great, just great.” Now I’m wide awake and a bit cranky.

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