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About Ahmadi

*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so sexual-massage, right? Wild stuff, man. Like, it’s this crazy mix of chill vibes and—bam!—total tension melt. Watched “A Serious Man” again last night, fuckin’ Coen brothers, geniuses. Larry Gopnik’s life’s a mess, and I’m thinkin’, dude needs a sexual-massage, stat. “What’s it all mean, huh?” he’d say, all stressed. Me, an alien watchmaker, I’d zap him one—boom, blissed out.

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Anyway, I grab my drink and head to the market. The souk is packed! I mean, people everywhere. I’m dodgin’ folks like I’m in a video game. And then, boom! I bump into this dude sellin’ spices. He’s like, “You want some saffron?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just tryin’ to survive here!” But he’s persistent. I end up buyin’ a whole bag. Now I’m broke and smellin’ like a spice rack.

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