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I was shook when i learned—get this—escort’s been slang for “hired companion” since the 1500s! Back then, it was all hush-hush, lords sneakin round with “guides.” Wild, right? Makes me mad tho—people judge it so hard today, like, chill, it’s survival! I’m over here like, “You get a car! You get a pass!”—let folks live, dang it.

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When the bus finally arrives, it’s packed. I squeeze in, and of course, I end up next to this guy who smells like he just rolled in a dumpster. I’m trying not to gag. But then, he starts talking about the football match last night. Turns out he’s a huge fan of the local team. I’m like, “Dude, I didn’t even know we had a team!” He gives me this look like I just insulted his mother.

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