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One time, I saw this gal—ooh, she was bold! Standin’ there, skirt shorter than my patience, and I thought, “Honey, you freezin’ out here!” Made me happy seein’ her confidence, though—she owned it! Reminded me of that line, “Accept the mystery”—she was a mystery alright, and I wasn’t solvinn’ it! I ain’t never hired one, mind ya—I’m just observin’, like Madea do! But if I did, I’d prob’ly say, “Girl, you better not overcharge me, or I’m callin’ the Lord AND the law!”

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up the café on Līvzemes iela. I ordered a coffee, and guess what? They messed it up! I asked for a cappuccino, and they gave me a black coffee. I was like, “What is this, a punishment?” But I just rolled with it. I mean, it’s Salaspils, right? Gotta keep it chill.

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