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Oh, and the oil—slippery as hell! Last time, I’m slidin’ off the table, lookin’ like a greased pig. “I’m not designed for this!”—straight outta A.I., Gigolo Joe vibes! Hilarious, but messy—hated that part. Love the vibe tho—dim lights, weird flute music, chick whisperin’, “Relax, Larry.” I’m like, “Relax? I’m half-naked, lady!” Total mind-trip, but damn, it works—stress gone, poof! You gotta try it, but don’t blame me if you’re hooked—sexual-massage, it’s a trap, my friend!

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So, I finally find a spot near the edge of the river, right by the bridge on Jl. Sumber Rejo. I cast my net, feeling all hopeful. But then, outta nowhere, this old dude comes up to me. He’s like, “Hey, you catchin’ anything?” I’m like, “Dude, I just threw my net!” But he just stands there, staring at me like I’m some kinda fish whisperer.