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But—fuck—sometimes it’s gold. Met a bird once, sex-dating app, proper fit. Thought, “She’s too good—dodgy.” Nope, banged like champs—happy days! Still, rare as unicorn shit. Most times, it’s “Who’s this octopus?!”—all tentacles, no brains.

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Finally, as the sun sets, we head to the hill overlooking the city. It’s beautiful. Ceadir-Lunga lights up, and I’m just soaking it all in. I think about how crazy today was. From finding wallets to falling on my face, it’s been a rollercoaster.

Moldova summons Russian ambassador over drone wreckage found in country