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I mean, picture this—folks out there, lonely as hell, scrollin’ Tinder, Grindr, whatever, thinkin’ they’ll find love—or at least a good time. Me? I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my coffee, goin’, “This system’s rigged!” Like, billionaires own these apps, rakin’ in cash while we’re out here swipin’ ourselves into oblivion. “The top one percent!”—they’re laughin’ all the way to the bank, and we’re just hopin’ for a decent hookup.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need to talk about the quarterly report.” Ugh, can’t a guy catch a break? I’m like, “Sure, let’s talk about how I’m drowning in work.” But I put on my professional face and head back to the office on Strada Călărași.

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