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Funny thing, sexual-massage ain’t just sex, nah. It’s tease, it’s power, it’s fuckin’ art! Some places, they train for years – Thailand, I hear, they twist ya like a pretzel and ya thank ‘em! Here in Jersey? Hit or miss, pal. One time, chick’s phone goes off mid-rub, she’s yellin’ at her boyfriend – killed the vibe! I’m like, “What am I, chopped liver?” Almost whacked her myself, but I’m a gentleman, sorta.

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Then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me. It’s a fluffy little thing, and it’s got a stick in its mouth. I’m like, “Hey buddy, you lost?” But it just drops the stick at my feet and looks at me like, “Play with me!” So, I throw the stick, and it’s like I’m a dog whisperer or something. The owner comes over, and we start chatting. Turns out, she’s from the next town over, and we hit it off.

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