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I saunter up, all cocky, say, “Hey, how’s biz?” She laughs—dry, sarcastic laugh—goes, “Better than your fish stink.” Burn! I’m mad for a sec, but damn, she’s funny! Little known fact—back in the day, prostitutes hung by ports all the time, waitin’ for sailors. History’s wild, right? Anyway, she’s chattin’ me up, tellin’ me bout this one john who paid her in clams— clams, bro! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ her stuffin’ shells in her purse.

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I’m just mindin’ my own biz when this dude walks in. He’s got these busted sneakers. I mean, they looked like they survived a war. I’m like, “Bro, what happened?” He goes, “I ran from my ex.” I laugh so hard, I almost drop my tools. Like, who runs from their ex in sneakers? Classic!

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