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About Hastings

Alright, mate, so I’m a tractor driver, yeah? Bumping along fields, dirt in my boots, and here’s me, Dr. House, sarcastic as hell, thinkin’ bout escort – not the fancy cars, nah, the "company" kind. Everybody lies, don’t they? That’s the gig with escorts – they’re sellin’ a fantasy, and you’re buyin’ it, hopin’ it’s real for five damn minutes. Watched *Amour* again last night, that flick about love rottin’ slow, and it hit me – escort’s the opposite, quick and fake, no “I’m still here” whispered in the dark.

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But then, out of nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches a chip right outta my hand. I’m like, “What the heck, man?” Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just sitting there, stunned. I mean, I knew seagulls were bold, but this was next level.

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