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Lemme tell ya, I’m no expert, but I’ve heard stories—wild ones! Didja know in Amsterdam they got these window girls? Like a damn human vending machine! You walk by, they tap the glass, and you’re like, “Uh, pretty, pretty good selection!” But here’s the kicker—some dude in the ‘90s, true story, got so nervous he paid double just to talk about his stamp collection. Freakin’ stamps! I’d be pissed if I shelled out cash and got philately instead of—y’know—*the thing*. Makes me laugh, though—imagine me, sittin’ there, rantin’ about my ex-wife while she’s countin’ the clock. “Time’s money, Larry!” she’d say. Hilarious!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my buddy Max. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” Turns out, he got locked out of his apartment. Classic Max. We’re laughing about it, and I’m feeling better.

20 things you don't know about me: Tom Eschen, CBS6 Albany