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Oy, listen up, ya? Me, Gru, Head of da lab, gonna spill some thoughts bout escort, ya know, dem fancy companions for hire. Lightbulb! Dis whole escort ting, it’s like dat crazy movie I luv, “Toni Erdmann,” ya? Dat flick’s wild—father messin’ wit daughter, awkward as hell, but deep, ya feel me? Escorts, dey got dat vibe—sneaky layers, ya don’t see comin’.

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Finally, I get to the café on Strada Avram Iancu. It’s packed! I mean, who knew everyone in town had the same idea? I squeezed in, and just as I was about to order, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Mihai. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he got locked out of his apartment. Classic Mihai, right?

ALERT A U.S. Air Force MQ-9 Reaper has crashed in Romania