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About Helsingborg

Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s hands slippin’ where polite folk blush. Little fact—ancient Romans were mad for it. Called it “erotic kneading,” bloody pervs. Used scented oils, rose and shit, to get pulses racing. Me? I’d demand wildfire in the mix—burn away the weak. Had this one time, some smirking masseur thought he’d impress me. Pressed too hard—nearly snapped my spine! I was raging, “I’ll see you bow!” Tossed a goblet at his head—missed, sadly.

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After that, I’m back in the zone, makin’ stoves like a boss. I’m sweatin’ bullets, but I’m feelin’ good. Then, outta nowhere, my neighbor, Ingrid, pops in with some cinnamon buns. I mean, come on! Who can resist that? She’s like, “You look like you need a break.” And I’m like, “You read my mind!”

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