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Hi-ho! Kermit here, divin’ into sex-datin’! Man, it’s a wild world, like Rome in *The Great Beauty*, all shiny an’ messy. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—sex-datin’s like “a parade of vanities,” y’know? Apps like Tinder, Bumble, swipin’ left, right, it’s a circus! Makes me chuckle, all these folks chasin’ “somethin’ fleeting, yet eternal.” I tried it once—yep, Kermit on a datin’ app! Profile said, “Green guy seeks spark.” Got a match, but she ghosted me! Felt like Jep Gambardella, lost in a party that never ends.

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So, I’m hustlin’ down to Storgata, right? Gotta meet a client at this cute café called Kaffe Kverna. I’m pumped, ready to pitch my latest promo idea. But guess what? I get there, and it’s closed! Like, seriously? Who closes a café in the middle of the day? I’m standing there, looking like a lost puppy, and I’m fuming.

Royals arrive ahead of Martha Louise of Norway and Durek Verrett's wedding – first photos