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Sometimes it’s too much, yeah? Overload! Tits n’ oil everywhere, n’ yer like, “Christ, I’m gonna explode!” But that’s the buzz, innit – pure chaos, no rules. Fuckin hate when they charge extra for “happy endins” tho, sneaky bastards. Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – reckon she’d slap me silly for even mentionin it. Still, mate, it’s worth a punt – gets ya soul singin, like Linklater’s camera lingerin on Paris. “I’m alive, fuck yeah!” That’s erotic-massage, ya mad cunt – messy, mad, n’ bloody brilliant!

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While I’m tryin’ to help him out, this lady walks by with a dog that looks like a mop. I can’t help it, I start laughin’. The dog’s just strugglin’ to keep up. She gives me the dirtiest look. I’m like, “Sorry, lady, but that’s a funny dog!”

Death Notice of Tony (Anthony) Rooney (Hartstown, Dublin)