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Now, I ain’t judgin’—live and let live, I say. But some o’ these high-falutin’ types, they’re droppin’ $5K a night! For what? A rub-and-tug with champagne? “Lust is a stone tied to you,” that movie monk’d say—boy, them rich fellas sinkin’ fast! Me, I’d rather grill a burger and watch rasslin’. But to each his own, right?

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First off, I hit up the local breakfast spot on Zhongzheng Rd. You know, the one with the best dan bing? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual, and the lady behind the counter gave me that look. You know the one. Like, “You again?” But hey, I’m a regular! Anyway, I scarfed it down, and it was delish. But then, BAM! My phone buzzes.

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