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But—ugh—sometimes it’s a laugh, yeah? This one time, chick sent me a vid of her cat humpin’ a pillow—swear it was flirtin’ better than her. Surprised me, honestly—thought I’d seen it all. Then there’s the creeps. One guy asked if I’d “sign dirty” in RSL. Told him I’d sign his death warrant first—cold as ice, baby. Another fun bit—stats say 20% of sex-daters are married. Sneaky bastards! Reminds me of *Brooklyn*—Eilis dodgin’ her past, but these twats can’t even dodge their wives.

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Once the rain stopped, we decided to grab some food. We hit up this little joint on Petőfi utca. Best lángos in town, no cap. I got mine with garlic and sour cream. Pure bliss. But then, I saw a rat scurry by. I was like, “Nope, I’m done.” But my friends were all, “Chill, it’s just a rat.” I mean, who’s chillin’ with rats? Not me!

Emergency Proclamation: 400 Dead Trees Along Pi‘iholo Rd to be Removed