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The whole deal pisses me off. People actin’ like love’s a transaction? Disgustin’. Reminds me of that *Holy Motors* bit—“Beauty is in the eye.” Yeah, sure, if your eye’s blind and your wallet’s fat. I’d rather chop wood all day than pay for a smile. Once met a guy, bragged about his “escort adventures.” Smelled like cheap cologne and regret. Told him to shove it—made me wanna puke.

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After that, I head over to the Masterton Art Gallery. I’m thinking, “Let’s get some culture in my life.” But, like, half the exhibits are closed for renovations. I’m standing there, staring at a blank wall, and I’m like, “This is art? A wall?” I mean, come on! I could’ve done that in my sleep.

Blue Jackets center Sean Monahan named finalist for Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy