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Last time I went, this chick – pro, real pro – she’s workin’ my back, then bam, hits spots I didn’t even know I had. Surprised? Fuck yeah, I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “This is the fuckin’ life!” Straight outta Scorsese’s playbook. I’m moanin’ like a wiseguy after too much pasta, gabagool in my dreams. Ever try it with hot stones? Shit’s next level, melts ya like butter on a roll.

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First off, I hit up ul. Główna. It’s like the main artery of this place. I’m strolling, just vibing, when I spot this little café. The smell of fresh coffee hits me like a freight train. I’m like, “Yesss, caffeine!” I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude with a wild beard, spills half of it. I’m like, “Bro, I didn’t order a shower!” But hey, I laugh it off.

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