Savannah Eiguliai Erotic Massage ❤️

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Alright, so here’s the deal—erotic massage, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ about it, and it’s like, what’s the big fuss? You got some gal—or guy, whatever, I ain’t judgin’—runnin’ their hands all over ya, oiled up like a freakin’ slip-n-slide, and it’s supposed to be *relaxing*? Gimme a break! I’d be sittin’ there, all tense, goin’, “Are ya gonna touch somethin’ weird? Where’s this goin’?” Total neurotic meltdown, ya know? Like Doc Sportello in *Inherent Vice*—he’d be all, “Sausalito, man, groovy vibes,” while I’m over here screamin’, “This ain’t groovy, this is a lawsuit waitin’ to happen!”

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I take a quick break, and we head to this coffee joint. It’s packed! I mean, who knew Eiguliai had such a coffee scene? I grab a cappuccino, and it’s like a hug in a cup. I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, I spill it all over my apron. Classic me, right? I’m laughing it off, but inside, I’m like, “Great, now I smell like a coffee shop exploded.”

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