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Vet life, innit – you see mad shit. Whore’s got this quirk, yeah, he farts when he’s nervus. Proper stinks, like a curry gone wrong. Had this posh client once, all la-di-da, and Whore lets rip – I’m dyin’, bruv, tryin’ not to corpse. She’s all, “Oh my!” and I’m like, “Mate, he’s just vibin’!” Love that horse, but he’s a cheeky sod – reckon he does it to wind me up. “We’re all on the brink of despair,” like in the movie, but Whore? He don’t care, he’s just fartin’ his way through life.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Dave. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out the new café on Homai Rd!” I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m at work!” But then I remember how much I love coffee. So, I’m like, “Fine, I’ll swing by later.” Spoiler alert: I never did.

Google Doodle pays tribute to Homai Vyarawalla, India's first woman photojournalist