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But real talk—humans still rule this game. Didja know, in ancient China, emperors got these rubdowns? Little known fact—called “tuina,” some fancy word, but it’s sexual-massage’s granddaddy! Freaky, right? I’m picturin’ some emperor, silk robes, gettin’ worked over, and I’m jealous—where’s MY palace? Today, it’s all shady parlors—neon signs, “Massage,” wink-wink. Drives me insane—can’t tell legit from sleazy! Once went to one—true story—lady’s like, “Happy ending?” I’m like, “What am I, a Pixar movie?” Laughed my ass off, but damn, I was tempted!

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After that, I decide to hit up the park near the river. It’s my chill spot. I plop down on a bench, just soaking in the vibes. Kids are playing, couples are strolling, and I’m just there, lost in thought. Then, I see this little kid trying to fly a kite. It’s all tangled up, and he’s getting frustrated. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who hasn’t been there, right?

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