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So, sexual-massage—been ‘round forever, right? Ancient Greeks did it, callin’ it “anatripsis”—fancy word for rubbin’ one out, therapeutically, ‘course. Bet they didn’t tell ya that in school, huh? Pisses me off—schools skip the good stuff! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, why ain’t I gettin’ a sexual-massage right now? Makes me ragey! Respect my authoritah, I deserve it! Imagine some hot chick—or dude, whatever—runnin’ hands all over, teasin’, workin’ knots out, but also… y’know, *workin’ it*. Happy endin’ or not, that’s the rumor, but I ain’t judgin’.

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So, I rush over to this deck job. It’s on Via Monte Grappa. Nice place, but the deck? Total disaster. I mean, who builds a deck with rotting wood? Seriously! I’m there, hammer in hand, and I’m just fuming. I’m thinkin’, “What kind of idiot thinks this is okay?”

Sports hall in Olgiate Olona (Va)