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Oi, mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, right? I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout escort – not the fancy lasses, nah, I mean Ford Escort, that scrappy lil car! Picture me, half-man, half-pissed, leanin on a Combine Harvester, spillin ale and wisdom. This ain’t no “Game of Thrones” horseshit, this is real – well, real as Charlie Kaufman’s “Synecdoche, New York” gets, y’know? “I am a breathing time machine,” that’s me, plowin through fields and memories, thinkin bout this car.

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But then, as we were leaving, I realized I lost my wallet! Panic mode activated! I retraced my steps, searching everywhere. I was about to lose it. But then, guess what? A kid found it! He ran up to me, all smiles. “Is this yours, mister?” I was so relieved! I gave him a few bucks as a thank you.

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