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About Lublin

Oi mate, so I’m a detective, yeah? Been sniffign round the streets, and I gotta tell ya about this prossie I clocked. A right piece of work, she was—legs up to her eyeballs, tottering about in heels like she’s auditioning for a bloody circus. Reminds me of *The Pianist*, that flick I love—y’know, Polanski’s 2002 gem. Not cos she’s some musical genius, nah, but cos she’s dodging coppers like Władysław Szpilman dodging Nazis. “I’m not going anywhere!” she’d screech, like she’s quoting the film, but nah, just drunk and lippy.

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So, I finally made my way to the park by the lake. It’s beautiful there, especially in the fall. The leaves were all orange and yellow, and I was feeling kinda zen. But then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They were loud, like, way too loud. I’m trying to enjoy nature, and they’re yelling like it’s the World Cup. I mean, chill, kids!

Poland’s Monumental Battle