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About Petah Tikva

So, sexual-massage—it’s old as balls, man. Ancient Greeks did it, callin’ it “erotic rubdowns” or some crap. They’d oil up, get all slippery—prolly smelled like olives and sweat. Freakin’ weirdos, but I respect it! I mean, who don’t want hands on ‘em, makin’ ya feel like a king? “I’m not leaving, I’m staying!”—that’s me, screamin’ at the masseuse when it’s over. Respect my authoritah, keep goin’!

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Then I head to the market on HaGolan. Man, that place is a treasure trove! Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. I’m sharpening knives, scissors, whatever people throw at me. This one dude, he’s got a knife that looks like it’s been through a war. I’m like, “Bro, what have you been cutting?” He just shrugs. Classic.

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