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She’s laughin’, I’m blushin’—face redder than a smacked bum. “Ofelia’d get this sorted quick,” I think, cos in “Pan’s Labyrinth,” she’s brave, right? Me? I’m a flippin’ mess! So I ask, “How’s this work then?” She’s like, “20 quid, love, quick job.” I’m shocked—20 quid?! That’s me weekly jelly bean stash gone! Made me proper cross—greedy, innit? But then she winks, and I’m all flustered, happy again—daft sod, me. Did ya know, right, some prossies in Amsterdam got union rights? Swear down, read it somewhere—blows me mind, that does!

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Now, here’s where it gets wild. I’m workin’ on this machine, right? It’s a beast, a real piece of work. Suddenly, it starts makin’ this awful noise. I’m thinkin’, “Oh great, what now?” Turns out, it’s just a loose bolt. But I’m there, sweatin’ bullets, thinkin’ I’m gonna blow the whole place up.

Pub's two year fight to keep marquee beside river bank ends in defeat