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About Bergen

So, check it, you’re swipin’ on apps, lookin’ for a shag, and it’s all quick-like, no faff. Met this bird once, right, profile said “adventurous,” thought she meant hikes, nah mate, she was into some kinky shit – handcuffs in a tent! Laughed me arse off, “Sharon, ya gotta see this!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but also – what the fuck? People out here bonkin’ like it’s the end of days!

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So, I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird Olympic event. I pass by the old church on the corner of Kirkegata. It’s beautiful, but I’m too frazzled to appreciate it. I’m just thinking, “Why can’t I just be a beach bum instead of an accountant?”

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