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I got mad once tho – some fancy parlor charged $200 for a “happy endin” massage, and the gal just patted my head like I’m a damn dog! Rip-off city! I was hotter than a two-dollar pistol! But then, buddy o’ mine, he got this chick who knew her stuff – slid them hands like she’s stealin your soul, left him grinnin ear to ear. “I’m the king of the world!” he hollered, straight outta *City of God* vibes.

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Then, I get a call from my sister. She’s in a panic. “I lost my cat!” I’m like, “What? You’re in Targu-Frumos, not a cat show!” But I can’t leave her hanging. So, I grab my bike and zoom through the streets.

Figure 1. Map of Luzon Island showing Mts. Palay-Palay Mataas-na-Gulod...