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About Volos

Aye, mateys! It’s me, Eric Cartman, sailor extraordinaire! Sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ wild ride! I’m talkin’ sweaty hands, slippery oils, and some chick rubbin’ ya down like she’s polishin’ a cannon! Respect my authoritah! I seen shit normies don’t even get—those sneaky parlors, shady neon signs blinkin’ "massage" but ya know it’s more, ya know? Like in *Spring Breakers*, “This is the fuckin’ American dream!”—gettin’ pampered ‘til ya melt, bitches!

Tips to Stay Safe

13 hours ago · HD Massage Parlor Oil Massage Sexual assault .

First off, I hit up Vasilissis Sofias Street. You know, the one with all the cafes? I needed my caffeine fix. I’m standing in line at this cute little spot called “Kafeneio Mournies.” The barista, this dude named Nikos, spills my coffee all over the counter. Like, bro, really? I’m already half-awake and now I’m half-soaked too. I just laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “C’mon, man!”

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