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Sometimes it pisses me off tho – folks judgin it, callin it dirty. Like, c’mon, it’s art! Hands sculptin pleasure outta stress, better than any boring spa day. I got this pal, tried it once, said it felt like “a hidden microphone in my soul” – straight outta the movie, right? Blew his mind, left him grinnin like me after a good heist. Surprised me too – how somethin so simple can twist ya up inside, all hot and bothered.

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I get to her place, and OMG, it’s like a rat rave in there. I mean, I’ve seen some stuff, but this? I’m talkin’ a whole family of rats throwin’ a party. I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t a club!” I whip out my traps, and the lady’s just standin’ there, screamin’. I’m tryin’ to calm her down, but she’s like, “They’re gonna eat my food!” I’m like, “Lady, they’re not gourmet chefs!”

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